When "I Prefer Not To" Becomes a Movement
An Interview with Kristin Bair
In this week’s author Q&A, Kristin Bair shares the origin story of Clementine Crane Prefers Not To, her new novel about an overwhelmed and underappreciated woman in mid-life who finally hits her breaking point and goes viral with her “I Prefer Not To” movement. Funny and full of an all-too-relatable rage, this one hits all the right notes.
“Clementine is every woman who found her voice and discovered freedom. Relatable, insightful, honest. Loved it!”
—Abbi Waxman, USA Today bestselling author of The Bookish Life of Nina Hill
How do you like to introduce Clementine Crane Prefers Not To to readers?
With a big laugh and a healthy dose of rage! It’s the story of a woman whose first hot flash of perimenopause blows up her rather ordered life—marriage, kids, work, all of it—and sparks a viral “I Prefer Not To” movement that inspires other women to push back too. It’s fierce and funny—a novel about perimenopause, marriage, motherhood, the mental load, and what happens when a woman finally stops saying yes.
This character's frustrations and overwhelm are so relatable (and hilarious). How did you come up with the idea for the movement she starts?
The seed for Clementine’s “I Prefer Not To” movement was planted decades ago in grad school when I first read Herman Melville’s short story “Bartleby, the Scrivener: A Story of Wall-Street.” In it, a copyist (Bartleby) slowly stops doing his job—first declining small tasks, then refusing to do anything that’s asked of him—each time responding with the same quiet but defiant line, “I would prefer not to.”
That simple act of resistance lodged itself in my imagination. For 25 years, I carried that phrase—and Bartleby’s spirit—around in my noggin, waiting for the right story to bring it to life. When, as I was writing this novel, Clementine hit perimenopause and began to question everything—marriage, motherhood, work, all the invisible labor—I realized I’d found it. Her “I prefer not to” swells into a powerful roar that women around the world rise to meet.
There is such a moving—and I think unique—portrayal of female friendship in this novel, between Clementine and her next-door neighbor Georgia. What were you hoping to show through their relationship?
The friendship between Clementine and her neighbor Georgia is the kind that saves lives. Georgia is Clem’s anchor when her world begins to tilt, the one who shows up with honesty, laughter, and zero judgment. (Something we all need in life!) And near the end of the book, in one jaw-dropping moment, she reminds Clem what true solidarity between women looks like. Their friendship isn’t polite or pretty; it’s the realest kind of love.
Like Agatha Arch, Clementine Crane had me laughing out loud. What advice would you give writers trying to weave humor into their work?
I’m thrilled that both Clementine and Agatha made you laugh out loud! Humor is central to everything I do (in life and writing), and for me, it only lands when it’s grounded in truth and the sheer absurdity of being human (and especially, being a woman). My advice to writers? Don’t chase the punchline. Drop your characters into authentic situations and let them react in messy, unfiltered, and sometimes inappropriate ways—the way real people do. That’s where the funny lives. Then you can go back and sharpen scenes, so the humor hits exactly the way you want it to.
I think Clementine will be on many of our minds for quite some time! What protagonist from a recent read can you not stop thinking about?
I love that—thank you! There are a few protagonists who refuse to leave me alone, including Elizabeth Zott from Bonnie Garmus’s Lessons in Chemistry, Cassandra from Holly Smale’s Cassandra in Reverse, and Nora from Suzy Krause’s I Think We’ve Been Here Before. I love how Nora keeps reaching for connection even as her world unravels—it’s magnetic. (Highly recommend all three.) My current obsession, though, is Sasha Hom’s Sidework. I’ve just started reading it but, damn, the prose is so alive it feels like it’s walking around on its own.
Kristin Bair is the celebrated author of the novels Clementine Crane Prefers Not To, Agatha Arch Is Afraid of Everything (a People magazine Best New Book), The Art of Floating, and Thirsty. Her essays—covering everything from China and bears to expats gone rogue—have appeared in The Baltimore Review, The Manifest-Station, Flying: Journal of Writing and Environment, Scary Mommy, and other publications. Kristin teaches in the MA in Writing Program at Johns Hopkins University and at the Yale Writers’ Workshop, and she serves as a fiction editor at Pangyrus. A native Pittsburgher, she now lives north of Boston with her husband and two kids. Connect with her on Instagram, TikTok, and Threads (@kbairokeeffe) or at kristinbair.com.
This sounds so good! Can't wait to read it!